Sunday, April 01, 2007
-Suicidal Thoughts-
Whatever happened today, i wished it were all a dream or an April fool's joke,but i cant deceive myself,the tone of seriousness in the message,all it tells me is that,i dun wanna live anymore..
The poem that i wrote quite a while ago says it all-
Wallowing in the darkness,
Alone and abandoned,
The darkness as my sole companion,
The pain as my fiend.
I called out your name,
All i got was silence,
All i knew was that,
My voice was lost in the darkness...
That is the top half of my poem,and thats more than enough to spell out barely part of my loss,my pain and my hatred. i din noe why he had to do this to me again. i dont know anything anymore. i m nothingness...All that i've loved have forsaken me, including myself...
No longer have the motivation to play netball nor basketball.. dont even think i can cope with my practical exam.. all these misfortunes came at the wrong time,and thwarted my whole life. i m nothing but a fool and pure nothingness..
i've gotta clear things out with him. i need to. i m no longer going to be the fool that dont know anything within a relationship. my pure cowardice harmed me.. And i've lost my innocence for quite a long time. n all i see in me is a rebel,not me.
Time heals all wounds,but not this...Whoever can heal my heart,is only God.
Sometimes,i just wish i were a lil kid again,cuz skinned knees are easier to bear than broken hearts..
Life is never a bed of roses. It's a thorny bush.
I no longer know how to move on.. and lukey kor,thanks for always being there for me when i needed help and advice..Really,thank you...
I need a break from everything in this world... am so tired of everything... :(
haiiz...better not keep chika waiting... i need to get this matter off my mind for short time,i need rest...maple with chika shud help em get my mind off things for a while..so bb.
